To Rush, or Not to Rush, That is the Question

Sorority recruitment apps are open and girls are encouraging you to go through recruitment because “you’ll find your best friends,” and “find a home away from home,” and a sorority will give you “the best four years of your life,” etc, etc, etc. Well, yes I do believe that all of those things can be true! But, it may not be true for some and THAT IS OKAY. I put that in caps because I went through recruitment with the highest hopes and expectations, and it just wasn’t a good fit for me and boy did that rock my boat. So, I’m writing this to tell my story (hahaha how dramatic) of going through recruitment in hopes that it’ll help give guidance, comfort, and/or advice to anyone out there that needs it.

For starters, I am SUCH a planner in the sense that I like to know what’s coming ahead. I guess I just like to be prepared. So, I did all my research about sororities and recruitment the end of my senior year and throughout the summer. Basically, my research came to this conclusion: Either you are head over heels in love with your sorority OR it’s literal hell and you hate your life. Both are such extremes, so when I went through recruitment and I felt neither of those things, I was totally lost. So here is my super normal, not dramatic, quite boring, but also relatable story of the time I went through sorority recruitment.

Me and my roomie (didn't know she would be my bestie at this point!!) during recruitment week. Peep the sick tshirts and name tag

Let me just preface this by saying that I thought that I was going to be the best sorority girl ever. I love everything girly, oversized t-shirts yes please give me 12, having a “big” sister (if you don’t know what I mean by this, in a sorority, you get a girl that is typically one year older than you who basically becomes your mentor and you call them your “big” or “mom.” Honestly I think it’s super cute and fun especially since I never had a sister), having tons of girls to be instant friends with (this one is kind of controversial because people say that “you’re paying for friends,” but for someone who is insanely shy in new situations/around people I don’t know, being in a sorority, even just going through recruitment, helped me to break out of my shell and talk to people.) Seriously I was so convinced that being in a sorority was going to be the best thing of my life. And then it wasn’t.

Morning of Bid Day with my roomies!!

So, recruitment is a five day long process where you visit all the sorority houses on campus and you rank which ones you like, and they also vote if they want to invite you back. You go through the week and each day you visit less and less houses until the second to last day, called pref day (pref = preference), you choose which house you want to be in. The next day, called bid day, you open an envelope that has which sorority you were...uh...I don’t really know the correct terminology here...I guess which sorority you were accepted into? Rushed into? Invited back? I don’t know but you get the point lol basically it has to be mutual, like you chose that house as your final sorority and they also chose you. So bid day can be a stressful day because some don’t get into their dream sorority. For me, bid day was...weird.

Waiting to open the envelopes that reveal which sorority we got into!

I opened my envelope and it read the sorority that I had also chosen. So for some girls it was a dream scenario, getting into the sorority that you wanted. But for me, I just chose it because I liked it more than all the other ones, but I didn’t love it. I was looking at the hundreds of girls around me screaming, jumping up and down, crying because they were so excited. I just didn’t have that same feeling. But nonetheless, I ran to my new home where I was greeted by so many smiling faces and was loaded up with new sorority swag (a crew neck, a hat, a bag, it’s basically Christmas), got some glitter on my body, and I was officially a sorority girl. Until I dropped it a month later.

Hahaha oh how I love cliff hangers…

If you ask a sorority girl why they chose the house that they are in, a typical answer is “I felt so comfortable in this house. I never had to put on an act and it just felt like home.” Which is amazing if you do feel that way, but for me, it just wasn’t that. Now it wasn’t the opposite of that either. The house that I rushed is filled with so many amazing girls and I never had a bad experience the one month that I was in it, but it just didn’t feel like “home.” I didn’t feel comfortable there. And like I said, it was nothing that anyone did to make me feel those things, it’s just how I felt. Now, deciding whether to drop or not was the hardest decision because there was no wrong choice. If I stayed in the sorority, I would probably make really good friends, I would have a good social life, and I would experience a lot of cool things. If I dropped, I wouldn’t be obligated to do things (which sounds SO lazy, I know, but coming out of four years of high school always having practices and meetings, I wanted to be in control of my schedule), and I would save myself and my parents a good chunk of money. I just wanted someone to make the decision for me. Ultimately, after like two weeks of ranting/talking it out with anyone and everyone I knew, I decided that I wanted to drop. The same reason that you would join a house because it just feels right is the same reason I dropped. It just didn’t feel right, and I was kind of mad at myself about it. Like I didn’t try hard enough to like it. I was also terrified that I was going to have no social life, I was never going to make friends, and college wasn't going to be fun for me. News flash!!! You can still have the time of your life and meet new people without being in a sorority! Yes, being in one acts as a catalyst, but you'll find your way, I promise.

Now, if you do join a sorority and you’re not comfortable right away, I think that is totally normal even if you do love your sorority. Getting adjusted to new situations and environments is a little uncomfortable! But try it out, give it a month or two, and ultimately just trust your gut.

I’ll wrap this up by saying that going through recruitment is SUCH A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!! Some of my best friends are in sororities that I could not see myself in, and I love them to death, so choose which house is right for YOU, or if you’re like me, don’t choose one at all lol. In the end, I think that if you are even considering going through recruitment, even a little, go for it! I learned so much about myself, how to meet new people, and got familiar with the campus in just one week. Plus, I’ll walk by girls on campus that I talked to once during recruitment and we smile and wave at each other, and it just makes a large campus feel a little smaller. So no harm done, and it’s also comforting knowing that I at least tried.

So, if you’re planning on going through recruitment, be excited!!! It is such a fun, emotional, inspiring, overwhelming, and overall good experience!

That’s all I have, but if you’re stressin’ during recruitment week this fall, hit your girl up and we can have a little pow wow until your heart feels better.

xoxo,

Just Julia :)