Rolling With It

Last night I set my alarm for 7 am so I could get up, walk my dog, and enjoy my morning. Well, it went off at 7...and I set it again for 8. And then it went off at 8, and I just turned it off. My body was just not ready to wake up yet, and I didn't have anything to do until 4 pm today so I figured, eh why not sleep in? So I got my two extra hours and I was going to wake up feeling refreshed, but honestly, I woke up feeling guilty. Guilty that I didn't walk my dog when it was still cool outside. Guilty that I turned off my alarm. Guilty that I let myself down in a way (very dramatic I know, I know). When I finally woke up I thought to myself, "I could've been done walking Jaxon and worked out by now." But I still got up at 9, walked Jaxon, did my workout, and was done all before lunch time, so I still hit my goal of waking up early and getting things done, but I still felt guilty.

This is sounding way too dramatic LOL, but I think there's a bigger picture than me feeling guilty about snoozing an alarm. I get these ideas in my head about the way that things need to be or how they're going to work out, and when they don't go that exact way, I get down on myself. Obviously this alarm situation is an example, or if I picture a video idea or graphic design idea and it just doesn't turn out the way it did in my head, I can get frustrated and feel like I'm not good enough. And honestly, this blog post is also frustrating me a little because I feel like I'm not finding the right words to express how I'm feeling. But I said at the beginning that I want this to be a month of blogging whatever is on my mind with no limitations, so here it is. I've noticed that my best work comes from a place of free imagination, and not a place of pressure that I've put on myself.

I think for the most part, if I'm in charge of something, I want it to go the way I have envisioned it. If I'm just a part of something, not the main one in charge, I can just roll with it. So 60% controlling and 40% chill? Hahahaha I think that's not too bad of a ratio.

So, here's to just "rolling with it" more.

Just Julia